Han Solo's To-Do List
by infamousnalani
Summary: When there was the sense of vulnerability of being humanized, she combated it with apathy and witty remarks that contradicted her desire for one single being in the universe to accept her for who she was. So what else is there to do when your attempts to melt the ice walls encasing her heart are shot down?


A/N: I've had this idea for a couple days now and I really like the way it developed. This is meant to be told in a choppy manner, almost as if you were reading his actual to-do list. An alternate ending is being developed for those of you that have seen The Force Awakens/appreciate a more morbid ending occasionally and will be posted as the second chapter to this shortly.

* * *

Every so often we experience things that will impact our lives in ways we won't know until everything unfolds. The old man that persuaded you to haul ass across an entire galaxy to a planet that would soon be obliterated from holomaps suddenly becomes a martyr for a cause there's no way in hell you'd even consider lingering around for, and the sheltered kid that tagged along with him transforms into tangible folklore right before your eyes. The damsel in distress that promises immense compensation loses the fire in her words as the furrow in her brow is replaced with a crease of heartache - and you know very well that you've caused both variations in different times of your life.

That very same damsel was, in fact, very much capable of holding her own against others despite her seemingly fragile frame. When there was the unacceptable sense of vulnerability of being humanized, she combated it with apathy and witty remarks that contradicted her desire for one single being in the universe to accept her for who she was, and not her title. So what else is there to do when your attempts to melt the ice walls encasing her heart are shot down?

Go and fall in love with her, of course.

Threaten to leave to entice a reaction from her. Watch her eyes bargain and plead with yours as her throat burns at the ferocity of her screams for you to _just go and do it_ for once. Her chocolate eyes strike a chord within you and you're reminded why you haven't escaped off this frozen hell hole within the past three years. Perhaps the heated discussions insulated you better than your jacket ever did, anyway.

Finally make a pact to get as far away from her as you can. Not for your sake, but for hers. Attempt to make a proper goodbye. Ruin the moment when her apathy conceals her grief by making a remark colder than the godforsaken temperature and storm out. To your hidden pleasure, you hear her brisk footsteps trailing after yours and finally, _finally_ , she indicates that she feels more than arguments and relayed messages through Luke. Remind her of a certain excursion on the outer rim that prevents you from overlooking the price on your head that increases exponentially as the days pass on. She retracts her previous statement by denying that it's her sentiments, but the rather the whole movement's, and deep down you have the feeling that you've scared her enough to reluctantly act on her emotions. Challenge her to execute her (your) fantasies, make room for a timid passerby, and taunt her again. Storm away once more.

Recognize that she's in danger and too stubborn to admit she needs help, practically drag her away from the command center for the selfish need to know she is alright right before you crush what's left of her limited world. Tackle her to the ground and feel her small body beneath yours. Wonder how a bone wasn't broken and how scarily this resembles a reoccurring dream despite the fact that your dream involves far less clothes. Thank the odds that the corridor collapsed. Pull her to her feet and make your escape with the girl for yet another time.

Argue with her over your other love. At least the Falcon doesn't talk back.

Realize she was right and make a pit stop in an asteroid.

Take matters into your own hands and corner her when she least expects it. Grab her hands, throw in a smirk. For once in your life, agree with her, even if it's a jab at your sexual impurity. Close the gap that has been prevalent for far too long and knock her off her pedestal. Revel in the fact that she doesn't pull away.

Disable a golden protocol droid.

Realize the cave isn't a cave and flee from said not-cave.

Contact an old friend. (She has a bad feeling about this).

Notice she's wearing something other than white.

Have dinner with the man she fears most. Hi dad, nice to meet you!

Look into her eyes, which have never allowed such a magnitude of emotion since you've met her. Kiss her in the fear that you will never taste her lips again. Hear the phrase that you've waited a year per word for. Choose not to leave her grasping at straws should this be where everything ends. Respond lamely.

Become a wall plaque commemorating Fett's greatest hunt.

Hold onto those words. They're all you have left of her.

Eat sand as a masked stranger tells you that you're free from the immobility of your confinement, but not from the darkness of it. Find out said masked stranger is her. _She found me_.

Regain your eyesight and work yourselves out of yet another mess that you've caused. They never seem to end.

Volunteer for the first mission the Alliance has to offer. Surprise her by demonstrating that you can in fact commit to her cause now that there's no longer the imminent threat of death lurking around every corner. Hope she picks up on the metaphor it is for your newfound ability to commit to her. Tease her that you're a general and therefore in higher in rank than she is. Try not to express the disbelief that floods your mind when she suggestively comments that you'll have to discipline her for insubordination.

Become separated from her shortly after reuniting. Blame yourself for stepping on a damn twig. Worry if she's okay.

Get captured by life-sized children's toys and become a human sacrifice for the blasted droid.

Attempt to blow out a torch. Realize that was probably the stupidest thing you've ever done.

Become freed from yet another captivity and embrace her. Her hair is down for the first time and again, isn't wearing white. _She looks beautiful_.

Get into a fight with her. Almost call it quits and then turn around and comfort her. Realize how far you've come since the time you considered her a good paycheck.

Watch her get shot in front of your eyes. Put out the flames, finally return her words. Watch her smile slyly as she repeats your response. She gazes behind you and fires twice, her shot as good as her looks. Not even five minutes ago she let out a piercing yell that will fuel your nightmares for years to come, and now she's up and at it again. _That's my girl_.

Disable the shield.

Defeat the Empire.

Bandage her wound. Offer to leave once Luke returns. Learn he's her brother, feel like an idiot, remember she kissed Luke back on Hoth. Feel like less of an idiot. Your wife kissed her brother in attempt to make you jealous. (It worked.) _Wait, your wife_?

Realize you are indeed content with the idea of marriage. Begin brainstorming how to ask her.

Attend a celebration held by the life-sized children's toys. Embrace her again. Sneak away from the festivities with her for a couple hours and stargaze at the satisfying unoccupied space where the second Death Star had been mere hours earlier. Laugh at the fact that she fell asleep in the middle of your conversation with her. Ponder what married life will be like.

Go back to base and help her pack up her belongings. Live out of the Falcon for the time being until you can agree on an apartment. Finally punish her for three accounts of insubordination on Endor.

Find an apartment and move into it. Spend the night sleeping on the floor because she is too excited to wait until it has been furnished. Have Chewie realign your back the next day. Mention your plans to marry this girl. You've had his approval since the first time you gushed about her.

Find the ring. (You fail). Go back home. Go for a walk after dinner in the Coruscant streets. Pull her aside and spin her around. Dance in the street and ignore the floods of people passing by; you're too focused on the sound of her laugh to care anyway. You're going to marry her, you can feel it in your bones. Grab her hand and lead her down numerous streets in the wealthier area of the city. Stop three stores away from the jeweler's and cover her eyes. Lead her into the store and turn her back to the countless pieces of golds and silvers. Watch her complexion turn from eagerness to confusion. She'll ask you what the occasion is, you'll mention that you may or may not have been thinking of this possibility since the day you met her. Feign a frown when she playfully hits your arm and comments on your lack of romance. Smirk and reply that it's hard to top a first kiss in the digestive tract of a space slug in terms of romance.

Follow her around the store and watch her face light up at the endless possibilities, her enthusiasm growing with each band. Wrap your arms around her waist from behind her when she stops and gasps. _This is the ring_. Buy the gold and sapphire piece. Reassure her that the credits you've collected throughout the years of unofficially assisting the Alliance will cover the expenses. Gaze into her eyes, overwhelmed with emotion.

Marry her.


End file.
